Miscarriage can feel like an unsutured wound, open ended, or even like a bad dream. This is in part because there are not any rituals around it. Saying goodbye is imperative to your healing; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I highly recommend beginning or continuing a mindfulness practice, but also choosing a way to create closure.
Personally I found lighting candles and thanking the little soul, as well as my body, brought healing even though it was the last thing I wanted to do in that moment. This doesn’t take away the super shitty feelings, but it cultivates healing, gratitude, and forgiveness.
Here are some ideas:
Light a candle and say a prayer
Write a letter to yourself, your future self, or the baby
Write a list of what you are feeling
Create a death certificate (ok, I know this may sound morbid, but it really helps some people, especially the partner)
Buy an ornament for your holiday tree as a little reminder
Anything else that feels right!
When you need to go to the emergency room:
If you feel disoriented, lose consciousness, develop a fever, begin hemorrhaging, or if you feel you want medical attention.
Warning signs: feeling spacey, very sleepy, incoherent, unusually anxious, becoming pale, soaking a pad in 30 minutes, bleeding steadily for more than 2 hours without passing the tissue, or developing a fever.
Seek immediate medical attention for any of these concerns.