*I wrote this 2 years ago after my third miscarriage. I decided to share it now in this community in the spirit of being vulnerable. I also recorded a short podcast about this post.
Sometimes there aren't words to speak, so here I am... writing. It has nothing to do with my specialty, but maybe it will still help someone.
I snapped photos of the vulnerable tears so many of us have shed, to document this hurt; to later reflect, in gratitude, when the light has healed these new cracks.
I realized, deciding to have a child means a conscious decision to accept the possibility of loss; of utter heartbreak. You're creating something uniquely precious that could be gone in a second.
Your heart is forever external. And today mine hurts a little extra.
Waking up to a reminder for my 13 week midwife appointment when I miscarried 2 weeks ago... still bleeding, skin flaring, hormones resetting.
Raw. Shitty. It happens. I know. Statistics. Blah blah.
Normal? I guess. Painful? Hell yes.
#IWokeUpLikeThis photos for the first time in my life... because it will be ok, but it's not ok yet. And that’s ok.
P.S. After miscarrying again (4 times total), my healthy son was born in April 2017.